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Background - What passed as my sucky childhood

I am the eldest of 4 kids, born in an era where we didn't have cellphones, didn't talk back to our parents, and didn't have a lot of the things kids these days consider their "rights". The worst thing we were worried about if we did something wrong and the PoPo caught us wasn't what the PoPo would do, it was the size 9 boot that would land on my ass when I got dragged home to my father. Bullying I was bullied incessantly at school, partially because I was on the chubby side, partly because I wouldn't get involved in the crap that other kids did and because I actually studied and got decent grades. When I got to High School (years 7 to 12 for you non-Aussies) was when the bullying got really bad - kids waiting for me outside school, trying to attack my sister, etc. Oh, I would defend myself, but I was always afraid to "let loose".   I wasn't into sports all that much, more the sciences and electronics, which made me a target as one of the Geek...
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Life since school

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The intervening years were largely one f*cked-up relationship after another - sometimes I hurt them, and sometimes they hurt me. And jumping from job to job, trying to work out what I wanted out of life. No, that's not right - I *knew* what I wanted, or rather thought I did and ignored anything that was a warning sign that I shouldn't be doing this job, dating this woman, etc. I thought I knew it all. Marriage I married my current, now ex, in 1997 and I have to admit for the first few years it was pretty sweet.. We had two daughters, and things were OK for a while. I've never believed in smacking kids, although it didn't hurt me any, but apparently I used to try to intimidate them by yelling and standing over them. I figured yelling was better than smacking... That's what my father did to us, that was the only role model I had, and I thought I was doing OK.  What a f&*king idiot I was The eldest daughter won't speak to me because I wasn't the father she ...
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